This excerpt from, Fasting, Feasting by Anita Desai, the author uses literary devices such as language, point of view, and several actions to show the reader how uncomfortable Arun is in his surroundings. By doing so, it forces the reader to sympathize with Arun and his new surroundings, hence making it more clear to the reader what Arun is experiencing.
Language is a strong literary device used throughout the whole excerpt to illustrate the emotional setting. In the first paragraph, Desai describes Arun as despondent- in low spirits due to loss of courage. This sets up the excerpt with a sad and lethargic setting. later on in the excerpt when Arun is outside he sees " these grasses stirring with insidious life, and bushes with poisonous berries." This description of nature is written in such a way that you can feel how uncomfortable Arun is with being outside. The language that Desai uses throughout the excerpt paints a picture of an uncomfortable boy in a foreign environment. By using more of a more dark and unhappy vocabulary, the writer shows us exactly how her words should illustrate how uncomfortable Arun is.
The excerpt, written in third person, allows the reader to witness Arun and his surroundings in an unbiased manner. This excerpt is primarily showing Arun's experience and how he sees and thinks. If the story had been told in a first person view than the reader would only be able to feel and think as Arun does, but by writing in third person it allows the reader to perceive situation in their own way- and allows them to draw their own conclusions. A good example of a situation that would of changed if written in first person is, "Melanie and Arun follow silently. they try to find a way to walk that will not compel them to stand side by side or in any way close together. Who follows whom? Is is an awkward problem." The reason this is a good example is because it allows the reader to contemplate why they can't stand side by side? why do they feel awkward with each other? If this had been written in first person then it would of only explained one view leaving the rest of the picture neglected.
Lastly, Desai uses the actions of her characters to highlight Arun's discomfort. the interactions between Melanie and Arun show the awkward and forced nature of their relationship, "Melanie comes to the door, dressed in her bathing suit with a big shirt drawn across her shoulders, and she stares at him challengingly, he starts wildly to find an excuse." Here Melanie is trying to get Arun to go sailing with herself and the rest of his host family, and Arun is trying desperately to find a way out of doing so. Even an exchange as simple as that shows the readers how Arun feels and how he views the common activities of his host family.
At first glace the except of fasting, feasting, seems lighthearted and like a family trying to go sailing on a nice day. After looking a little deeper it is made clear that Arun, the main character, is uncomfortable with his family and going outside. Desai uses actions of characters, point of view, and language to contribute to the emotional profile of Arun.
I would give your essay a 4 out of the scale on the rubric. I thought that your essay contained evidence drawn from a broad range of DIDLS categories. Your claims had a clear argument which made your essay easy to follow. However, the essay didn’t contain enough evidence as specified in the rubric (although the entry of the quote was very good). And the warrants used to explain the evidence didn’t leave me coming away with a new thought. The warrants were repetitive and only skimmed the surface of the writer's point. Also, when reading the excerpt, I thought an important part was when Mrs. Patton was singing as it highlighted the difference between Arun and Mrs. Patton feelings and Mrs. Patton oblivion. The writing itself of the essay was good but I think that the warrants didn’t analyze why the writer used those writing techniques.
ReplyDeleteI don't know what your prompt is because you didn't include it in your title. Grading it as a stand-alone piece I would give it a 4. Although you did a decent job of including quotations from the piece, you did not have enough quotations. Also your analysis of your evidence was poor. To often did you leave the reader to come to conclusions on their own rather than telling them what conclusions they should come to. This vagueness in your warrants made your argument unpersuasive. There were also grammatical errors made throughout the piece. Unfortunately, one of those errors was in the first sentence. As you continue to develop your writing I would focus on concise diction, concise thoughts, and thoroughness.
ReplyDeleteI would give your essay a 5 on the AP grading scale. I think you had really great ideas for the setup of each of your paragraphs, and you lay them out clearly in the very first sentence. You also made good use of direct quotations from the text, backing up your claims with direct evidence--you could consider adding more of these quotations. Some suggestions I have would be to work on editing for grammar and syntax. I also think you could have made the topic of your first body paragraph "diction" instead of "language", because you focused primarily on vocabulary. Lastly, I would go deeper in your warrants, relating your claim to your evidence. Great start!
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